Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Contrails: John Mayer Hearts Kanye West, How 'Bout You?

  • First of all, for the love of God, go check out Kevin Federline's hot new joint here.
  • Jessica Simpson tells Teen People, "I would be a therapist if I weren't an entertainer." I'd like to think that, as an entertainer, Jessica's taken on the role of therapist in some capacity for millions of Americans.
  • John Mayer apparently holds Kanye West in very, very high regard and is very, very eager to work with him. Only problem is, he left messages to that effect on some other dude's voicemail. And that dude, uh, contacted Page Six. Confirmation is still pending on whether or not Mayer suggested in any of these voicemails that West's body of work was a wonderland.
  • Some speculate that Leonardo DiCaprio's breakup with Gisele Bundchen has a little something to do with Sienna Miller. Others say it's got more to do with Kelly Slater. I say it's just because it'd been a while and what the hey.
  • Kenny Chesney is so heart-broken over his split from Renee Zellweger that he publicly likens her to a wall-mounted big-screen television when the big game's on.
  • The New York Daily News says Lindsay Lohan and Jared Leto are about to go public with their unholy union. But check out the loving use of metaphor as the Daily News tells how the pair "rowed their way through a veritable ocean of Aarons and Wilmers and Camerons and Scarletts to reach each other." Snappy, those cats.
  • Finally, allow me to again draw your attention to the loveable antics of one Stavros Niarchos III. I'd like to think that just before the poor derelict emptied the nearest available can of pop on himself, Stavros roared, "Get him the good stuff! Pepsi One! Not Safeway Select Diet Cola!"

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