Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Contrails: Jennifer Love-Hewitt Loses $40 In Cunning, Diabolical Rip-Off Scheme

  • Too busy chatting on her celly to fill her own tank, Jennifer Love Hewitt reportedly paid some random guy at the gas station $40 to pump gas for her. Perhaps the back-arching princess was busy ordering beds for dreamy Matt Damon, because she failed to notice that dude never put any gas in her tank, pocketing the money instead. Her Mini Cooper went empty not long later, and she had to get out and push (her car, not her tits together -- under the circumstances, I think clarification is called for).
  • 50 Cent says there's no place for homosexuality in hip-hop. According to Mr. Cent, "Being gay isn't cool - it's not what the music is based on. There's always been conflict at the center of hip-hop, because it's all about which guy has the competitive edge, and you can't be that aggressive if you're gay.... I mean, some rappers are fruity, but they don't say they're gay out in the open." DVD to follow featuring cheap animation depicting every major figure in hip-hop acting all fruity while Mr. Cent punches stuff.
  • Lindsay Lohan's talking college. To get, like, a university degree. She has her sights set on New York University, for its widely respected philosophy department easy proximity to London and L.A.
  • She knows you wanna know about fights with Brad Pitt and humpin' with Vince Vaughn. But you know what Jennifer Aniston wants to know? Jennifer Aniston wants to know "why Steve Perry left Journey." So there.
  • What's the deal with Defamer and Page Six running this story that U.N. Spacy covered like forty days and forty nights ago? It's like a fine wine, this story. It needs time to age and develop a distinct character. Unfortunately, U.N. Spacy's staff are the sort of winos who lack appreciation for those finer qualities.


Post a Comment

<< Home