Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Contrails: "Bratman Bratwurst" Terrorizes Guests At Xtina Wedding Reception; Mayonnaise Threats Met With Hysteria

  • I must confess, Xtina Aguilera in her wedding dress really doesn't much resemble a bottle of bubblebath. It's more like a jellyfish attacking an oozing bottle of bubblebath.
  • We'd be remiss in our blogging duties if we didn't draw your attention to Xtina's new husband's much ballyhooed comments on the Bratman family's well-hung genes.
  • At this point, spotting Jessica Simpson without her wedding band is about as difficult as catching a glimpse of Trishelle's left nipple. See the latest example (of ringless Simpson, that is) here. By the way, those two are supposed to be hotties. Just wanted to warn you, 'cause if your caught failing to enumerate the limbs you'd gladly part with for a chance to sodomize J.Simp, you get kicked out of the blogosphere. That's what they told us anyway. Then they kicked our puppy.
  • What are you talking about? The American Music Awards are so totally not a farce.

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