Saturday, November 19, 2005

Contrails: "Ay Yo! What The Shizzy Is A 'Por Favor,' B?!?"

It's just after 9:00 on a Saturday morning, so I'm fairly comfortable confessing that today's Contrails items were pretty much all discovered at the esteemed Goldenfiddle.
  • I hear that Missy Elliott has no less than three instant messaging accounts. "One for friends, one for business, and one for porn." Wanna know where I heard this? From David Byrne, that's where.
  • Supposedly these pictures depict K. Fed's debit card being declined. That, or the last customer tapped the "Espanol" key.
  • Xtina Aguilera and her perpetually not heinous boyfriend Jordan Bratman are set to marry this evening at the Staglin Family Winery in Napa Valley. Rest assured, Aguilera's dress has been custom made to assure clear nipple-ring visibility in photos taken withing a twenty-yard range.
  • "We had these boards at home and every time my sister Nicky and I did something good or did a chore we'd get a star and then we'd get things. That's the reason I'm so motivated and successful now. I think that did something for me." I submit that as Paris Hilton spoke these words, kid brother Barron ran a soldering iron through the head of a Furby. Confronted about it later, he had absolutely no memory of the event.

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