Thursday, October 13, 2005

More Dirt On Jessica Simpson's Split From... I Dunno, Some Guy, I Guess

Mainstays of credible journalism Star Magazine report:
Nick has lately been reported to be spending his nights on a couch at the L.A. home of his friend Matt Leinart, 22, quarterback of USC's football team. Though Leinart has publicly denied it, an eyewitness tells Star: "Nick's been sleeping on Matt's couch for about a week now. I've been to Matt's house, and I saw Nick there!"
Very interesting indeed, but whoever this nebulous Nick character is, I'm betting he's got enough money and clout to avoid couch-surfing at least through year's end. Star doesn't stop there, though. They never do!
"Nick and Jessica are much more viable as a couple than they are as two individuals," a friend of the two tells Star.

"Their appeal is as a cutesy, cuddly duo. If they split, they will lose the fan base of those who fell in love with them as a happy, and oh-so-in-love newlywed couple."
This makes a great deal of sense, because the reason most of us are still talking about Jessica Simpson is her cuddly cute marriage. It has nothing to do with buffalo wings, hugantic ta-tas, or Jackass star rim-jobs. Even so, Star abandons this rock-solid theory quickly.
The same source points out how it benefits Nick to remain married. "As of now," the source says, "people are still taking his phone calls. But how will it be without Jessica on his arm?"
I think we all know what this source is getting at. Except seriously, who is this Nick dude?


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