Tuesday, September 06, 2005

LiLo + Ash: BFF 4Eva XOXOXO

It’s been more than a week since U.N. Spacy reported an end to the once-fiery Lindsay Lohan-Ahslee Simpson feud. Devastated by the premature loss of so promising a rivalry, U.N. Spacy bitchily speculated that the Simpson clan was unable to keep up with Lohan’s unreasonable demands, and were tossed from the veritable VIP lounge that is the LiLo-linked headline.

Today, I’m somewhat embarrassed to say that U.N. Spacy pretty much misread the whole thing, and lacked the foresight to anticipate the fascinating mutations taking place in the pair’s relationship. Via Egotastic:

My initial impulse was to snap off a little of the ol' "How many foil-embossed Bibles did Superdad Joe hafta sell to greenlight this unholy union...", but I'd only be parodying myself. So what the hell is going on here? We're minutes from reading Hilary Duff freebasing headlines, and meanwhile LiLo's distributing olive branches like they were rhinestoned Motorola two-ways at the BET Music Awards!

I dunno whether to chalk this up to a Twelve Step Program or if these two have been partaking of some good ol' fashioned O.C. style HLA or what, but clearly LiLo's scrubbing up her image, and clearly it will work to the virally-tacky Ashlee’s advantage. I don’t think anyone ever doubted the younger Simpson’s ability to throw a tearful, vodka-fuelled tantrum at a press event – but with a few more of these pictures, she'll be able to do so only partially obscured by the shadow of Jessica's flashbulb-blocking bust.

I'd also like to take one moment here to point out the boiling cauldron that is the teen-pop scene right now. Seriously guys, we're like one hacked Sidekick away from a full-on Babylon style Biblical Plague of bad behavior and rumormongering. Somewhere out there is the key to this Pandora's Box.

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