Tuesday, August 16, 2005

In The Land Of The Blonde, The One-Time Readhead Is Yoda

In a potent double-team of real-life and imaginary instigators of eating disorders, Lindsay Lohan will appear as a character alongside Barbie in My Scene Goes Hollywood, a new straight-to-video animated Barbie adventure hitting stores August 30th. Young girls interested in further decimating future happiness can also buy a Mattel Lindsay Lohan doll, as well as sold-separately Dressing Room and Party Limo playsets. MTV offers a summarized synopsis for the film:
Barbie and her buddies stumble onto the set of a "D.E.B.S."-like action comedy about a school that secretly trains teen government spies. After they befriend the still-redheaded teen sensation on the set, Lohan informs them she's just a normal girl, a statement she reaffirms by challenging them on an air-hockey table (she loses) and a "Dance Dance Revolution"-type machine (she wins).
Lohan further impresses them with such "normal girl" antics as storming out of movie premiers, gaining entrance to age-restricted nightclubs as a minor, and transforming into a fully-staffed United Airlines 727 through her powers of puberty. Lohan (who, according to MTV, is portrayed "
as a Yoda-type figure") also has an urgent message for America's now-doomed youth - a message on the dangers of being stalked by tabloid photographers.
[T]hat's so cool," one of the "My Scene" characters responds to a story about the paparazzi following a star.
"Yeah, for like, a minute," Lohan replies. "Try going out for coffee in old baggy sweats when you've barely slept and your hair's a mess and see how cool it is then."
When Barbie and her friends learn that, in fact, it's incredibly cool, Lohan takes them out for spray tans and Red Bulls, then tutors them in the delicate art of the single-nipple-slip.

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