Saturday, August 20, 2005

Duff Got All She Wanted For Christmas

Micronian Queen Hilary Duff finally puts speculation (not to mention incontrovertible evidence) to rest, admitting to Jane that not all of her teeth are real. Popdirt reports:
Hilary Duff spoke with Jane magazine about her smile that looks "different". The teen queen admitted, "Yeah, on my two front teeth. I was really sick as a kid and constantly on antibiotics, so my teeth aren't the strongest, and I kept chipping them on the microphone. One show, I literally spit half of my two front teeth out. I was in some small town in the Northeast, at, like, the only dentist. It was 6 o'clock in the morning, and I had a whole day of work planned. So they bonded my teeth. Then there was a crowd waiting for me outside. I was so embarrassed." Asked if someone had tipped people off that she was there, the singer who wraps her hands around the mic head and shoves it up to her face to camouflage cameras from catching her lip-synch responded, "I felt like that, but it's not the kids' fault. Anyway, when I got to L.A., I got veneers. But it's like, why is it people's business?"
Granted, no one cares, but Duff's testimony is told just as UN Spacy likes it - as incredible as it is incredible. Undeterred, Duff continues to wield her cruel scepter of power over America's youth. One impressionable fan's sympathetic response to this story? "that's a shame hilary had trouble with that when she was younger and all. that probably didn't feel too good." Maybe so, but each time I'm confronted with those veneers, I worry they'll part to reveal a smaller, sinister Hil head, dripping thick sheets of acid as it slowly presses outward. Also, I'm reconsidering my assessment of the edgy film role Duff's been eying. More likely she was referring to a Jennifer Love Hewitt biopic.

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