Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Contrails: Hilton-Exclusive Disneyland Benefits Unlawfully Solicited By Filthy Micronian

  • Skip this item if you've eaten recently: Rick Hilton apparently calls wife Kathy "Mommy." Hope and pray that a nightvision sex tape never emerges.
  • In a Marie Claire interview, Reese Witherspoon slams the "I'm stupid, isn't it cute?" contingent of young Hollywood. She doesn't name names, so I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell she's blathering on about. It's cute though.
  • Speaking of Hiltons and stupid starlets, Paris Hilton's publicist is "concerned"about a look-alike imposter (with a look-alike teacup Chihuahua no less!) who has tried to use her "Parisian" looks to receive VIP benefits at Disneyland and hotel upgrades. In the event that this is an evil twin, UN Spacy will do the happiest goddamn happy dance your eyes will ever see. This applies doubly to a Tinkerbell evil twin.
  • Post-punk legends Gang of Four have charted out a tour in support of their brand new album, Whitey's Gift, a collection of re-recorded and re-mixed Go4 classics. Indisputably one of the great bands of the past thirty years, this record will nonetheless be a complete trainwreck. Which will at least afford them the opportunity to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and go at it.

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