Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Contrails: Eva Longoria Not That Talented or Pretty.

  • The Superficial augments its lackluster coverage of the VMA goodie bag with like four pictures of Eva Longoria. I know they think she's totally hot over there (to the tune of two or three stories a week), but let's face it: She looks like shit in those photos. This marks the beginning of UN Spacy's campaign of destruction. Eva must be stopped before she becomes Jessica Simpson.
  • Speaking of Our Savior, Jessica Simpson apparently had a gigantic Diva clause in her Dukes of Hazzard contract. To the tune of six pages, processed by the office of Class-A FreakDad, Joe Simpson. Evidently Jess refused to do press if the demands were not met. Her rep calls the accusations "ridiculous", making said rep the third person to make the list of people that are no fun, and a negative force in my life. Simpson's ass could not be reached for comment, although it did participate in the press tour.
  • Scarlett Johansson claims that she once dated a coke-fiend (last item). She says "You can't trust them, and you never know where they are. They lie. Every time they blow their nose, you're like, 'Hmmm.'" Comments like that make me think that she either dated a guy who did some blow every now and then, and she's such a goody-goody that it freaked her out, or that the PowderFreak (tm) in Question is Michael Bay. A third possibility, I suppose, is that Benicio Del Toro does a lot of blow.
  • After a hypocritical jab at sweet li'l Tara Reid, the newly slutty Charlotte Church goes down in the third on a TKO.

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