Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Contrails: Duff Appearance Now Categorized As Normal

  • Hilary Duff headlines People's new Diet Secrets feature. After detailing said Diet Secrets, Duff inexplicably concludes, "I like to look normal." I swear to Christ this girl's trying to make me choke-on-my-lunch to death.
  • Legendary director Terrence Malick and celeb actor Colin Farrell are in talks to work together on Tree of Life beginning next January. The pair also collaborated on the upcoming The New World.
  • Named Sexiest Male Vegatarian by PETA last year, Andre Benjamin, aka Andre 3000, plans to market the tails of gray wolves as fashion accessories in his new clothing line. This may prove difficult for Benjamin, as the gray wolf is classified as an endangered species. Explaining his seemingly contradictory actions, Benjamin says, "I'm a vegan, but I like to look good too." And when he puts it like that, who can criticize?
  • UN Spacy recently posted that Jessica Alba was set to star in a film adaptation of the I Dream of Jeannie series. Alba now refutes those rumors, saying that her current plans are to work on "an independent called The Wake for Miramax." Alba also says that she'll be taking over directial duties on Tree of Life, and that she's spoken with the gray wolves who, it turns out, are all about the Benjamin.
  • A recent poll in Blender Magazine overwhelmingly named Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis the most likely celebrity couple to divorce. But then, Blender readers couldn't poll themselves to a credible conclusion if their 25 Sexiest Moments in Big Beat feature depended on it.
  • In other polling news, BET viewers just named Usher the Finest Man In Entertainment. BET viewers, U clearly got it bad. Congratulations, Usher, U totally schooled Mr. Cent, Nas, Jay Z (???), Denzel Washington, and even Omarion. BET really is all about U. Hell, U even bested LL Cool J, and ladies love that guy. But such blessings come with responsibilty. Can U handle it?


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