Monday, July 25, 2005

Your son is jerking off to this.

There's been a lot of shouting lately about this "Hot Coffee" mod for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Turns out that there's a modifying code that can be inserted into the game (the methods differ depending on the console you're playing on) that can allow your character, C.J. to have actual in game sex with his many girlfriends. It even turns into a kind of mini-game.

Well, IFILM has a clip of this salacious behavior. It's truly shocking. But only because it's so benign, even silly. She invites C.J. in for "coffee", then all of a sudden she's naked (he stays fully clothed the entire time, even during intercourse). She gives him head, then they fuck, while he changes positions about every 5 seconds. The best part is the dialogue. "You should be a professional, baby", is a really nice thing to say to your lady while you two go at it. It's also great in a "funny because it's true" way when the girl says "We should get married" after C.J. comes.

Do people seriously think this is damaging their children? What average teenage kid doesn't understand what's going on here? There's nothing particularly pornographic about it. Just a lot of corny one-liners and SIMS humping. What's depicted is supposed to take place between two consenting adults, they both seem to have a nice time, and nobody gets hurt. It's not especially erotic. So pretty much like the first time you have sex with a new partner. Awkward, a little goofy, but all around a decent experience that you can only hope to repeat with better results. Kids need to learn about this stuff. The fact that teenagers don't understand that sex is sometimes a clunky, uncomfortable affair is probably the main reason we've bred a generation of idiots who hang out in bars and pick up anything that moves. At least C.J. and his girlfriend here are sober.

See the video. Absolutely NSFW.

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