Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Egyptian And Japanese Children Desperately In Need Of Lohan Aid

The New Zealand Herald seems to have all the dirt on LiLo right now. First, I'll let her air her number one talking point:
"All those stories," she says, "they're not the truth. It's not like I'm so interesting anyway. I mean, really, I'm just like any other teenager [...] it's not as if I'm married and I'm cheating on my husband. It's not like I'm robbing people or being a bitch. I get really hurt when I read those stories. Because I have to admit that I want people to like me. I want them to know that I'm not that horrible, selfish, out-of-control person they keep reading about.

"I work hard, then I chill with my friends. I lead a fairly normal life." Lohan takes a breath and then continues. "That's why I hate all the lies that are printed in the magazines, because then the people that I aspire to work with, the directors and actors, think that I'll bring that to the set, that that public persona is me. And it is so not."
Lohan normal teenager, not bitch, certainly not robber. Everyone got that? C'mon, if you thought for a second that she was going to talk about her decline in weight, you're a little naive about how these interview things work. Bank on Lohan's people laying down the no-eating-disorder law before the questions begin.

Moving on, her thoughts on acting classes (which she admits she hasn't ever taken):
"I'd consider it if there was something about a character I needed to research. It's not really been suggested to me. I like to do things organically, just read the script and think of what that character would do in any situation. I think that classes might not be good for me."
Let's not rush to dismiss this. After all, Herbie: Fully Loaded director Angela Robinson has gone so far as to call Lohan "a genius." Robinson knows what she's talking about; her last film was D.E.B.S., described by IMDb user crowbot as something like what would happen "If the Wizard of Oz had given Charlie's Angels 2 a heart, some brains and some courage."

But this is no fun, let's get to the Lindsay that spouts random implausible crap, overturning science, logic, and common sense. The Lindsay Lohan that gives Jessica Alba a run for her money:
Lohan says she wants to be known for being more than just sweet and cute. She has a secret ambition: "I want to go to Egypt and Japan and open orphanages in different countries," she says. "I want to have a chain of them ... " I start laughing. I picture people lining up to buy a Lindsay Lohan Orphanage franchise. But Lohan is dead serious. "There are kids around the world who have nothing. And I have so much. I want to be able to give back."
I'm guessing she rattled off Egypt and Japan because they're the only non-Western nations she could recall by name on a Red Bull lunch. But very possibly there's much that we don't understand about these countries' dire need for Teen Star Founded Orphanages. Especially franchised Teen Star Founded Orphanages.

Just to warn you, it's not over between LiLo and I for the day....


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